Self Awareness...

It would definitely be easier if I had no self awareness...maybe even less drama! Life just seems to be one cruel joke after another. Unfortunately, I'm aware of it every step of the way and nothing seems to change. That's the worst part...just going through each day wondering what could possibly go wrong this time! And it never ceases to amaze me that YES...it can get worse!

Such is life - sometimes we all just have to drop our heads in defeat and wait for the next challenge. Bringing me back to the unending cycle of drama...I hate drama! I get up in the morning, take my son to school, get some coffee, go home and write. Then I take my other son to work, go to my youngest sons football, drive him home and write some more. Sleep is a pleasure when I actually get to do it. At 3 in the morning, my phone rings to pick my son up from work...then the cycle starts all over again! Who am I, you ask...I have no idea anymore!

When I found this category to write in, I honestly had no idea what they meant by 'Satire'. But, after reading pretty many of the stories on here I came to my own conclusion about it. I'm assuming that the satire group means that I can be as sarcastic as I wanna be. Go figure, sarcasm just happens to be my specialty! I'm fed up with the world...all of it. People suck, they have bad attitudes, and no one seems to care about anyone else anymore. What makes me different? It could be the simple fact that I give a crap about people...I like to do the right thing...hell, I have a conscience!

If only other people could be as aware of themselves the way I am! It would make the world an easier hell-hole to live in. I've been asked if I believe there's a heaven...of course I do. It's not only because I was raised catholic - it's because I believe there has to be something better than this! If only I could see it...

I spend my days wondering when I'm going to get the next threatening phone call or email. I wonder when my ex (that tried to kill me) is ever going to find me. And I wonder what my purpose is in this thing so many people call life. I thought I had a purpose...something worth waking up every day for...a reason to smile and laugh. It all seems to fade out as quickly as it shows up. There's no warning...it's there one day...gone the next! Leaves me to wonder why we even bother anymore. So, do I possess self awareness - unfortunately, I do. Most of my days are spent with the one hope that I could forget a lot of things that I don't want to know. That'll never happen. I seem to be just as aware of reality...and reality is worse than drama!