Living to Die...

For the past 9 years, I've tried to adjust myself to living with one kidney. Sometimes I even forget that I only have one - until the scar across my back reminds me! Let me tell you, there are good days and there are bad days...the bad days are ridiculously painful. December 13, 1999 was the day that changed my life forever. That was the day they removed my left kidney and sent it off to be biopsied. You see, I spent ten years taking prescription pain killers because of severe lower back pain. The doctors thought it was because I was a waitress that worked at least 50 hours a week. Deep down, I knew it was something else...but, I couldn't convince them!

Finally, I convinced the "medical professionals" to look harder for something. This was more than just back pain. After CT scans and a lot more than one opinion, they removed my kidney. At the follow up appointment, I was told that it was Stage 3 Renal Cell Carcinoma. If they wouldn't have found it when they did, I would have only had an average of 3 years to live. Thank God they got it when they did. During the recovery, I wasn't given any advice on how to take care of myself with only one kidney. All I was told was that there is a possibility it could return and affect my other one. The advantage was, that this could take 10 to 15 years. Well, I was only 26 and I figured they sounded like good numbers! Now, at 35 I realize how grim that really is.

You see, a few years ago they did find something. It hit me like a ton of bricks! As of now they are content with calling it a mass...a solid formation that resembles what my left kidney once looked like. They can't conclude that it's another tumor - after all, there's not much that they can do. We all made the decision that we would just wait to see how it develops. Even though we know what it is, there is no way to prevent the ultimate outcome. I just have to go day by day and wait. If I qualified for a transplant, it would have already been taken care of...but, I don't.

They take many factors into account when qualifying someone for a transplant list. I was already told that I don't meet the criteria! I am a smoker...my children are almost grown...and there are too many hereditary diseases that run in my family. In layman's terms...that means I'm dispensable. Just another statistic in the vast growing days of cancer! And to make matters worse (if that's possible), I have no insurance. My employer doesn't offer it and the state says the $10,000 I make a year is too much to qualify for any type of medical assistance. So, the waiting is even more stressful!

I take every day as a blessing...I enjoy time with my children and I work when I can. Most days I can barely walk, but I make it through. I've tried to quit smoking - that didn't work! I did cut back some though. I had to take it upon myself to do research online to find out what else I could do. Did you know that red meat makes your kidneys work even harder? I didn't know that either! With only one kidney, you must be careful on how hard you work it. So, red meat was cut out of my diet. Every now and then I do indulge myself though! Research also showed that tea is very bad for your kidneys...I never knew that either! If you're going to drink tea, make sure it's green tea. That's a little better for you. Since you'd still need the vitamins that are in red meat, I had to find a way to get them. That's when I stumbled across the fact that broccoli provides many of the same things you need. Good thing that I like broccoli!